The 'Root' Finder

Take a look at the tree below. The tree that does not flourish above ground has deeper issues at its roots.
Have you been blaming the failures that have taken place in your love life (above ground) only on the surface, or are there things hidden (below ground) that still need to be uprooted and thrown away for you to eventually have the success you have always desired, but could not achieve?

Ask yourself why am I having this problem in my love life? The more you ask yourself "Why am I acting or being the way I am" as you delve deeper into your love life problems, the closer you will be to identifying the REAL root of your love life problems.



The Revolted vs The Complacent

When it comes to a person’s love life, I have noticed there are two types of people in the church –

The revolted (people who’ve had enough) and the complacent (people who like the idea of being blessed but are not willing to do anything about it). Let’s look at both types based on what I have witnessed.

The revolted person has recognised that their love life needs to exist or that their past was filled with one failed relationship after another. They have been beaten around, rejected,  feel low—with no reason to believe that their love life can ever change, that is, until the day they hear a word to the contrary  and so they to step out of their ‘den’ and ‘stronghold’ they made in their mind.

They start attending meetings for deliverance, seek the Holy Spirit and are faithful in their Chains of Prayer for the love life. Once one chain is completed, they continue another, not worried about time. They are concerned about getting right on the inside.

Some have already drunk from the water that the woman, who met Jesus  by the well (John 4:1-26), was missing, as they are now married, having waited for the right time to be matched–by the Holy Spirit.

Others are continuing to persevere knowing that as they persist, like the widow did with the unjust judge (Luke 18:1-8), they will be answered; even if it means sacrificing for it. They are prepared for it–All or nothing!

Then we have the complacent person who either goes through the same thing as the revolted person or is someone who has had no serious relationships to speak about. They promise to attend the ‘Love Therapy’ meetings, read these messages, tune in to ‘Partners4life’ or the radio programmes, even ask others how the meetings went.

Some are even waiting for a match made by the church leadership just because they heard someone else was matched in that way. However, the problem with this type of person is that they fail to see things will not budge unless they revolt; they ‘step out.’

Don’t think you are attracting God’s attention by doing the same old thing. God will not send Prince/Princess Charming to you!

You need to run out of the stronghold that is called ‘doubt’ and ‘unbelief.’ You need to follow your own faith and not feel comfortable knowing there are others outside or even in the church who are just like you. If not, you will be heading down to the water to drink from the spring, as the 9,700 men did but will still be thirsty, in your love life.

You may even attend the Love Therapy but if you are not revolted, you will not join the elite group of 300 – people who sacrificed twice on the altar and ended up happily married. The first was in the Campaign of Gideon (or any Campaign) and the second was giving up their single life to be given away,

Where?

On the altar – to their husband or wife-to-be.

I feel your pain!

My wife – Chris, had to go away for a week and I was left alone. During this period I had recently acquired new responsibilities. With my wife around, I took simple things for granted. However, as my wife, friend, soul-mate, companion and helper was not around, the workload seemed a lot more.

Now I had to think about food, maintaining the house, clothes that I needed to get ready, holding meetings, evangelising as well as starting my new responsibilities.

There was no one to come home with at the end of the day. There was no kiss to greet me when I arrived home. The house seemed empty; staring at the 4 walls didn’t seem much fun. Chris was not around to ask one another how our day went. No good morning or good night kiss. She would normally go to bed 5-10 minutes before me. By the time I would retire to bed, she had already warmed it up with her body heat. During that week there was no one there to do that, so I had to endure the cold sheets on my own. “Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night.” – Ecclesiastes 4:11 (The Message)

You may say to yourself “So what! I have gone through this every day for years.”  Well, this is the whole reason why I’m writing this!

To all the single people – I feel your pain!

I know it was only for one week. But I now understand what you have been going through for years. That week can never compare to the years of loneliness you have endured, but I now know what you go through.

I can understand why you want to be in church most days of the week. I can understand when you approach the pastor in tears – You are just venting out your frustration. I feel your pain! However, it does not give you the right to give up, nor make any rash decisions in your love life to find someone who will take away your loneliness, or warm your bed.

The only way you can get rid of this pain and take your mind off being single is to get to know the One whom you cannot see. There are people in the church who are single and happy. Notice I did not say they are content with being alone. The sad, empty feeling they once had has now been replaced by the Holy Spirit.

Now follow their example. And soon you will find your friend, soul-mate and helper.  "It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." Genesis 2:18 (The Message).  

Pastor Michael boodram
love@uckg.org