"I get so emotional baby..."





Paula Yates and Michael Hutchence

On 17 September 2000, Paula Yates, 41, was found dead at her home in London of an accidental heroin overdose. The coroner ruled that it was not a suicide, but a result of "foolish and incautious" behaviour.

Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil.

A coroner's inquest reached a verdict of misadventure. The report released on 26 October 2011 stated that Winehouse's blood alcohol content was more than five times the legal drink-drive limit. According to the coroner, "The unintended consequences of such potentially fatal levels resulted in her sudden death."

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown
On February 11, 2012, Houston was found dead in a suite at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, in Beverly Hills, California, submerged in the bathtub. Local police said there were "no obvious signs of criminal intent."

What did Paula Yates, Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston all have in common?

Not only did they die in tragic circumstances, which you wouldn't think possible for such famous celebrities in their field, but the question you need to ask yourself is who introduced those things into their lives?

On the surface you could quickly reply that it was the pressure of fame which other celebrities have faced, but a closer look reveals that their partners had a very big role to play in their demise.

Paula Yates died after a heroin overdose. Amy Winehouse died of blood poisoning, and Whitney from a cocktail of alcohol and prescription drugs. These deaths did not happen after one fatal drug or alcohol binge. Their deaths were a result of months, even years of abuse—Why?

Because they made the wrong choice of dating known "bad boys" - men who had inner demons of their own but could not overcome them.

I'm positive that these women knew the addiction their men had, but battling their own inner demons, they either thought this man understands the problems I'm facing or was introduced to drugs and alcohol when it was too late—when their hearts said "I'm hooked to him". Therefore there would be no going back from the steep downward spiral culminating in their deaths.

If you think you can change someone you just met with addictions or a past that continues to haunt them, you will be on your own on that narrow lonely road. And the chances are: 

1.    You will accept the person as they are and continue in that relationship (knowing full well you will suffer for the rest of the time you are together, and even beyond)

2.    You will end up doing the same they do.

You need to take a step back and let that person find help in God. The real truth is that they, nor you are not ready for a relationship.

However, when you have God's Spirit in you, you firstly know what's right and what is wrong for you and you will have the strength to carry out the right decision—with no emotions attached. When you do not have His character, you are indecisive and will end up eventually saying yes to all that is wrong. Once you jump in at the deep end, it will be hard to save yourself.

And finally I recently heard one of Whitney's songs. I would strongly advise you not to follow these lyrics. However,  how many did and still do today:
"I get so emotional baby, every time I think of you..."

Don’t repeat their mistakes

Here are a few well-known people you just might have heard of; people we listened to, watched, supported them in some way, or admired. They reached the top in their field at one point. They earned the money, lived in houses, drove cars, some still have the looks many dream of having, yet many could not even hold down a relationship or marriage for long. Are they examples you should be looking up to?

Did they really find out whether their partners were the right ones for them? Some did, but look at the statistics below and judge for yourself.

- Arnold Schwarzenegger & Maria Shriver, married 1986 – 25 years

- Harrison Ford & Melissa Mathison, married 1983 – 21 years

- Lionel Ritchie & Brenda Harvey, married 1975 – 17 years

- Kevin Costner & Cindy Silva, married 1978– 16years

- Donald & Ivana Trump, married 1977 – 15 years

- Mick Jagger & Jerry Hall, married 1990 – 9 years

- Madonna & Guy Ritchie, married 2000 – 8 years

- Paul McCartney & Heather Mills, married 2002 – 6 years

- Tiger Woods & Elin Nordegren, married 2004 – 6 years

- Steven Spielberg & Amy Irving, married 1985 – 4 years

- James Cameron & Linda Hamilton, married 1997 – 17 months

- Jim Carey & Lauren Holly, married 1996 – 9 months

- Drew Barrymore & Tom Green, married 2001 – 6 months

- Pamela Anderson & Kid Rock, married 2006 – 5 months

- Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley, married 2002 – 5 months

- Colin Farrell & Amelia Warner, married 2001 – 4 months

- Renee Zellweger & Kenny Chesney, married 2005 – 4 months

- Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries, married 2011 – 72 days

- Carmen Electra & Dennis Rodman, married 1998 – 9 days

- Dennis Hopper & Michelle Phillips, married 1970 – 7 days

- Britney Spears & Jason Allen Alexander, married 2004 – 55 hours

- Zsa Zsa Gabor & Felipe De Alba, married 1982 – 1 day.

And the list goes on… not to mention the others who never married, but are in and out of countless relationships. 

Don’t repeat their mistakes!

We are continuing with the “10 Reasons Why He/She Might Not Be The One.”
Make sure you get it right, whether it’s your first relationship or not.

Can you afford to miss Love Therapy? – This Saturday, 7pm at the Rainbow Theatre.

PROMO - When a relationship is based on the children - www.partners4life.tv

Why do relationships fall apart once a couple have children?
What can be done to avoid this ever happening to you, or what can you do to change this?
Tues 5th July 2011 | My Sky Ch. 219

You can view this programme and others 1 day after it's first shown on TV, online at www.partners4life.

The Pact of Love

 

“ I, take you, to be my (wife/husband),
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better or for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish;

from this day forward until death do us part.”

Are you familiar with the above words? If you are married or have been married before, you will have repeated the above or similar vows on your wedding day. If you are not yet married and hope to be one day, then you will, no doubt, be repeating these or something similar.

However, what do these words actually mean?

When someone says their wedding vows to their husband/wife to-be, they are not only making a vow; they are in fact entering a ‘pact’ with that person – for life!  These are not just words you say as part of the wedding ceremony. For many however, they are just words, and only time will tell – Why?

When times are good, then all is fine. When they have money, all is well. But how about when the ‘worse’ times arrive? What happens when they can’t afford to cover the bills, debts pile up and there is a strain on the relationship (that’s why many arguments are over finances), they are quick to ‘pack it all in’... you get the idea!

They forget the ‘pact’ they once openly declared to each other in front of sometimes hundreds of people, and even before God, the reason being because they were not ready to go all the way, until death, to fulfil their part of the pact.

 

When I got married, I lost my rights as a single person. I was and still am obliged to be with my wife, putting her first before family members, friends, and even certain personal things related to me. I also have rights to demand from my wife that she also put me first before family members, friends, and her own personal things. We both entered a pact together and the words similar to the ones above were our signature ‘on the dotted line’. There is no going back, only looking forward – together with God leading our way. The moment one of us decides to break this pact we made, then it is no longer binding.

That is what marriage is about – a lifelong commitment! I did not sign a long-term prison sentence but I am committed; all of me to my wife and vice versa, knowing there will be no third parties involved, no cheating, but there is trust on both sides, an agreement, a pact between us, that whether near or far, in good and bad times, we will always be by each other’s side, faithful and committed to the end.

It’s about giving and taking – ‘I scratch your back and you scratch mine’.

Next week I will tell you some examples whose backs God scratched and vice versa when they made a pact with God, and like them, you will have your chance to enter into a pact with God or renew your pact you once made with Him on Sunday 5^th June.

Get ready to sign on the dotted line – there’s no turning back!

PROMO - A multicultural relationship that beat all the odds!

Watch 'Partners4life.tv' - Thursday 9th June | My TV, Sky Ch. 219

What now – for you?

Where were you on Friday April 29th?

The long-awaited ‘Royal Wedding of the Year’ of Prince William and Kate Middleton – now The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge – was viewed by over 24.5 million people on UK terrestrial TV; over 3 billion worldwide. The UK came together in patriotism, reclaimed the Union Jack and marked the event by holding over 5000 street parties. People started camping 3 days before the day outside Westminster Abbey and along the Mall to see the wedding dress, the couple and of course – that famous royal kiss on the balcony. To top it all off, the UK has another Bank Holiday for April.

Now that all the hype is over, everyone has returned to their normal lives, the royal wedding now seems a distant memory.

What does this mean for you, especially you who are still single?

I remember watching the news and seeing people so happy, getting ‘merry’, crying, even seeing the odd street party myself on the way home, but has this really helped those who are single, in failing relationships or longing one day to find their ‘prince’.

It’s all well-and-good celebrating someone else’s wedding day, but what about preparing for your own one day? How many weddings will you be attending as a guest, a bridesmaid, the best man, The Master of Ceremonies even, but will still have that bitter taste in your mouth wondering whether you will one day be exchanging vows?

If you do not *revolt against your failing love life and take the relevant action needed, you will continue and will always be unhappy.

So what’s the cure? – Simply attend the ‘Love Therapy’ meetings every Saturday – revolted. If you missed last night’s ‘Love Therapy Nite’ Special, then don’t wait for the next one that will take place on the 25^th June - Join me next Saturday at 6pm at The Rainbow. You can also tune in to the ‘Love Therapy’ radio programmes, weeknights at 11pm on Liberty Radio for inspirational messages on love, dating and marriage.

Don’t fall into the trap of feeling a false sense of security or happiness; like the whole nation did, just because there was another wedding taking place, when hundreds of thousands of people are themselves still unhappy in love.

Remember: One action of REVOLT is all that is needed to start the ball rolling.

* revolt:-  to refuse to obey the constraints imposed by another

Pastor Michael Boodram

Email me: love@uckg.org
http://michaelboodram.blogspot.com



The Blame Game

Whenever we don't want to admit we are wrong or own up to our mistakes, we will always look for someone else to point the finger of blame at. We adopted this "it wasn't me, it was them" attitude when we were children to escape being 'told off'.

This is what the first man and woman did in the Garden of Eden. When Eve was tempted by the serpent and ate the fruit, it didn’t stop there; she persuaded her husband to eat from the same tree. Now let’s look at what they said when God enquired about their behaviour.

How did Adam respond to God's question? - "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?"
Instead of answering "I realised I was naked. We both ate from the tree you told us not to eat from", he decided to blame someone else – His wife! His answer: "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate."

How did Eve respond to God's question? - "What is this you have done?" Instead of answering "It was all my fault, I should not have given any attention to the serpent", she said "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

Both Adam and Eve played 'The Blame Game'.

When you point the finger at others, you are in fact repeating Adam and Eve's biggest mistake. You are in fact revealing who you really are and not what others are actually like.

Do not blame others for your mistakes! Own up to them, admit to them and move on by not repeating those mistakes again.
This could be the reason why you are unhappy in your love life; still single or, maybe you are with someone, however, the constant bickering and finger-pointing does little to solve the real problem – Admitting YOU are at fault.
Do not focus on your partner's many mistakes s/he may have. Work on dealing with your own first. That way, you will help your partner overcome theirs instead being the major player in 'The Blame Game

'^"And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:3-5

Has the fire fizzled out?

Everything was exciting in the beginning! Meeting for the first time; the butterflies in the stomach, your heart would beat excited at his voice over the phone.

You did things spontaneously too! The weekend getaway, the surprise dinners, romantic drives. You presented her with flowers.

You were so concerned about your appearance too. Hours spent in front of the mirror doing your hair, nails, make-up. Even longer trying to choose that killer outfit for the night ahead. You even cleaned places in your house you never touched in a long time – all this to make an impression on the one you hoped would one day be – The one!

It’s been years now. The children are in school, both of you are working all the shifts you can get.  No more butterflies. Now you can’t bear to hear him breathe ­­– let alone speak.

The weekend getaway? What’s that! Now you wish he would go away. Surprise dinners now are a takeaway one Saturday in a blue moon; Romantic drives - not anymore! Petrol prices are too high; Flowers! Why? – She’s got me for life.

Where’s the fire that once burned for each other.

Now you don’t take any pride in your appearance. Why do you think he had that affair? Because he kept coming home seeing you in a tracksuit, no make-up, hair tied-back and smelling of today’s dinner. You can’t even get rid of that muffin-top since your first child.

Are you going to wait until he decides to leave you and then make a change to your appearance, like so many women have done – When it’s too late!

Once their husband leaves them, they then say to themselves, “I’ll show him what he’s missing” and so they lose the weight, get their hair, nails and make-up done, buy the tightest jeans and high heels and act like they were 18 again. But it’s too late now. The damage has been done.

Here are my tips on how to avoid this ever happening to you:

1.      Put your partner first (After God, of course). Think of ways to please them and not yourself only. Sometimes this means allowing them to have their ‘me time’ eg. Football, reading a book. Respect their own space.

2.      Make time each day to spend with one another. Don’t let daily life come in the way of your relationship. Plan an evening alone. Make babysitting arrangements, if needed.

3.      Be spontaneous. Don’t always plan everything you are want to do. This makes it fun and exciting.

4.      Don’t be predictable. Your time together will always be new and exciting.

5.      Above all, ACT NOW before it’s too late.

Pastor Michael Boodram
love@uckg.org

I feel your pain!

My wife – Chris, had to go away for a week and I was left alone. During this period I had recently acquired new responsibilities. With my wife around, I took simple things for granted. However, as my wife, friend, soul-mate, companion and helper was not around, the workload seemed a lot more.

Now I had to think about food, maintaining the house, clothes that I needed to get ready, holding meetings, evangelising as well as starting my new responsibilities.

There was no one to come home with at the end of the day. There was no kiss to greet me when I arrived home. The house seemed empty; staring at the 4 walls didn’t seem much fun. Chris was not around to ask one another how our day went. No good morning or good night kiss. She would normally go to bed 5-10 minutes before me. By the time I would retire to bed, she had already warmed it up with her body heat. During that week there was no one there to do that, so I had to endure the cold sheets on my own. “Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night.” – Ecclesiastes 4:11 (The Message)

You may say to yourself “So what! I have gone through this every day for years.”  Well, this is the whole reason why I’m writing this!

To all the single people – I feel your pain!

I know it was only for one week. But I now understand what you have been going through for years. That week can never compare to the years of loneliness you have endured, but I now know what you go through.

I can understand why you want to be in church most days of the week. I can understand when you approach the pastor in tears – You are just venting out your frustration. I feel your pain! However, it does not give you the right to give up, nor make any rash decisions in your love life to find someone who will take away your loneliness, or warm your bed.

The only way you can get rid of this pain and take your mind off being single is to get to know the One whom you cannot see. There are people in the church who are single and happy. Notice I did not say they are content with being alone. The sad, empty feeling they once had has now been replaced by the Holy Spirit.

Now follow their example. And soon you will find your friend, soul-mate and helper.  "It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." Genesis 2:18 (The Message).  

Pastor Michael boodram
love@uckg.org

That's disgusting!









I want to share an experience myself and my wife faced a few years ago. To the younger generation this may not be much of a shock to you, but those more mature, especially to me and my wife - it saddened us both.
 
One autumn day while waiting at the bus stop, my wife complained she was feeling cold and as usual looks up at me with her puppy dog eyes looking for a hug. We embraced one another and I also gave her a few kisses - normal for a married couple, right! ...Wrong, it would seem.
 
Standing a few metres away were some teenage girls, who noticing our embrace and kisses, one commented to the others something along the lines of "that's disgusting, I'll never act like that when I'm married" while giving us dirty looks.
 
Having heard her comments, I decided to hold my wife even tighter and kissed her more, making the deliberate 'mmm-smack' kissing sound. They all turned away in disgust.
 
What is this world coming to? It was like we committed a serious crime where the punishment befitting of such an act should have been public stoning - till death.
 
Were we caught in adultery? Were we too old to be kissing? Would it have satisfied her if we only held hands or kept 'that stuff' for a hotel room?
I wonder what her reaction would have been if we were teenagers with tongues down each other’s throat!
 
It's sad to see what this and future generations thinks of innocent public acts of affection.
 
If this generation's idea of relationships is internet dating, chat rooms and posting intimate details and half-naked profile pictures online, then marriage is heading for big trouble.
 
That's why it’s important that you fight for your marriage and fight to get married as a testimony to your children and your children's children.
 
Long live the institution of marriage!

Picture source: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2125