Many people have misjudged me over the years. Like anyone else, those who are closest to you will know the real you. My wife has commented many times to me – “if only they knew the real you, then they wouldn’t have that opinion of you”.I have concluded over the years that a majority of opinions or views held about me are due to the look on my face. I have been told that my face is serious or ‘hard’ and so I can understand why people may think this of me. But the look on someone’s face does not necessarily show what’s inside that person.
Many times we are deep in thought and that can be expressed by the look on our faces. Though my face may be serious looking, many times I am thinking of something positive or am happy within me. However, this can come across to others as moody, defensive, angry, serious, – take your pick.
This brings me onto the main subject of this blog of judging others and how we can do this in our ‘subconscious mind’.
I have been observing a gentleman who stands outside our ‘HelpCentre’ in Swindon. Everyday he goes into the pub next door. You are guaranteed to see him early in the morning until late afternoon popping out every 10-15 minutes to have a ‘ciggie’ often with a friend of his having a chat and eyeing up the ladies. I never thought to say anything to him as he seemed not to be the approachable type and would not be interested in speaking to me.
One day I got talking to his friend. It was ‘small-talk’ at first – something I’m not really good at.
To get around this I mostly asked the questions. We eventually got round to the meetings held at the ‘HelpCentre’. He then started telling me his beliefs about God and life. When our conversation came to an end I was itching to speak to his friend. Let’s call him Sam.
Sam started telling me that he believes there is a God, and that life has its ups-and-downs and nothing can be done about it. Somehow we moved onto his health.
Sam mentioned that he was a heroin addict before for many years and so moved from his home town up north to Swindon to escape the bad company that influenced his addiction. He also said that he suffered with epileptic fits and has been taking medication every day for the past 9 years which wasn’t helping. Sam then went on to say that without fail, he would have 3 fits every week lasting from 5 minutes up to one hour and therefore could never have a shower alone but needed his friend to be present.
The next day I met Sam having a ‘ciggie’ and we talked and I invited him to come in for a prayer as he had not tried it. Sam said he would consider it.
I realised that I had judged Sam subconsciously thinking he was in the pub, doing nothing with himself. When Sam told me what he was going through I realised that he was crying out for help and the only way he knew how, was to do what I would see him do every day. I had judged him before actually speaking to him first.
Though we may say we don’t judge others, we do form split-second judgments in our subconscious based on prejudices we may have held about others in the past. Even if they turned out to be true, we should never paint everyone with the same brush as it not nice being prejudged by others – Don’t you agree?
Every time I see Sam it is a reminder not to prejudge someone before getting to read the preface first.
Think twice before you judge (consciously or subconsciously) that book by its cover!
