The 3 Worst Ways to Get What You Want - In a Relationship - Thurs 2nd June, SKY Ch 219 - www.partners4life.tv

The Blame Game

Whenever we don't want to admit we are wrong or own up to our mistakes, we will always look for someone else to point the finger of blame at. We adopted this "it wasn't me, it was them" attitude when we were children to escape being 'told off'.

This is what the first man and woman did in the Garden of Eden. When Eve was tempted by the serpent and ate the fruit, it didn’t stop there; she persuaded her husband to eat from the same tree. Now let’s look at what they said when God enquired about their behaviour.

How did Adam respond to God's question? - "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?"
Instead of answering "I realised I was naked. We both ate from the tree you told us not to eat from", he decided to blame someone else – His wife! His answer: "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate."

How did Eve respond to God's question? - "What is this you have done?" Instead of answering "It was all my fault, I should not have given any attention to the serpent", she said "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

Both Adam and Eve played 'The Blame Game'.

When you point the finger at others, you are in fact repeating Adam and Eve's biggest mistake. You are in fact revealing who you really are and not what others are actually like.

Do not blame others for your mistakes! Own up to them, admit to them and move on by not repeating those mistakes again.
This could be the reason why you are unhappy in your love life; still single or, maybe you are with someone, however, the constant bickering and finger-pointing does little to solve the real problem – Admitting YOU are at fault.
Do not focus on your partner's many mistakes s/he may have. Work on dealing with your own first. That way, you will help your partner overcome theirs instead being the major player in 'The Blame Game

'^"And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:3-5

5 love languages - Thurs 26th April, SKY Ch 219 - www.partners4life.tv

Lifehouse - "Everything"

Everytime I watch this, it moves me to tears - Enjoy!
(see lyrics below)

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Has the fire fizzled out?

Everything was exciting in the beginning! Meeting for the first time; the butterflies in the stomach, your heart would beat excited at his voice over the phone.

You did things spontaneously too! The weekend getaway, the surprise dinners, romantic drives. You presented her with flowers.

You were so concerned about your appearance too. Hours spent in front of the mirror doing your hair, nails, make-up. Even longer trying to choose that killer outfit for the night ahead. You even cleaned places in your house you never touched in a long time – all this to make an impression on the one you hoped would one day be – The one!

It’s been years now. The children are in school, both of you are working all the shifts you can get.  No more butterflies. Now you can’t bear to hear him breathe ­­– let alone speak.

The weekend getaway? What’s that! Now you wish he would go away. Surprise dinners now are a takeaway one Saturday in a blue moon; Romantic drives - not anymore! Petrol prices are too high; Flowers! Why? – She’s got me for life.

Where’s the fire that once burned for each other.

Now you don’t take any pride in your appearance. Why do you think he had that affair? Because he kept coming home seeing you in a tracksuit, no make-up, hair tied-back and smelling of today’s dinner. You can’t even get rid of that muffin-top since your first child.

Are you going to wait until he decides to leave you and then make a change to your appearance, like so many women have done – When it’s too late!

Once their husband leaves them, they then say to themselves, “I’ll show him what he’s missing” and so they lose the weight, get their hair, nails and make-up done, buy the tightest jeans and high heels and act like they were 18 again. But it’s too late now. The damage has been done.

Here are my tips on how to avoid this ever happening to you:

1.      Put your partner first (After God, of course). Think of ways to please them and not yourself only. Sometimes this means allowing them to have their ‘me time’ eg. Football, reading a book. Respect their own space.

2.      Make time each day to spend with one another. Don’t let daily life come in the way of your relationship. Plan an evening alone. Make babysitting arrangements, if needed.

3.      Be spontaneous. Don’t always plan everything you are want to do. This makes it fun and exciting.

4.      Don’t be predictable. Your time together will always be new and exciting.

5.      Above all, ACT NOW before it’s too late.

Pastor Michael Boodram
love@uckg.org

Sex! - Why the Rush? - Part 2

Did you hear or read the lyrics to the song on my previous blog? - Well, here's the explanation.

Speak to anyone; your parents, relatives, best friend or colleagues about how their experience was of losing their virginity and you may be surprised at the answer you will get.
Like many of you who may have already 'lost it', you will no doubt give the same answer - "painful", "a flop", "it wasn't what I thought it would be", "I wish I had waited", "a disappointment" and "we just fumbled around".

These are replies from those who did not want to do as the title of the song advises 'Let's Wait..."

When you try to rush things, trying to be a grown-up before your time, you will experience pain and disappointment and wished you had waited for the right time and with the right person.

So... What's the rush? Stop trying to be grown up. This should be the best time of your life. Just ask your parents! They will tell you. There's plenty of time to do adult stuff  when you become an adult and are ready to face the consequences - in marriage.

So take my advice... wait for THE RIGHT TIME... OK?

'Love Therapy Nite' pictures exclusive

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Sex! - Why the Rush? - Part 1

Watch out for Part 2 of this blog!

There's something I want to tell you
There's something I think that you should know
It's not that I shouldn't really love you
Let's take it slow
When we get to know each other
And we're both feeling much stronger
Then let's try to talk it over
Let's wait awhile longer

Let's wait awhile
Before it's too late
Let's wait awhile
Before we go too far

Remember that special night
When all of the stars were shining bright
We made our first endeavor to stay together
We made our very first promise
To love, to share, and be real honest
But on that very first night
It wasn't quite right

Let's wait awhile
Before it's too late
Let's wait awhile
Our love will be great
Let's wait awhile
Before we go too far

I didn't really know not to let all my feelings show
To save some for later so our love can be greater
You said you would always love me
Remember I said the same thing to you
You don't have to be frightened with my love
Because, I'll never give up on you
Let's wait awhile
Ah well before it's too late
You know you can't rush love, love

Let's wait awhile
(Ooh hoo hoo)
Before it's too late
(Let's wait awhile)
Wait awhile
(Our love will be great)
Let's wait awhile
(Wait awhile, ooh)
Before we go too far, oh, oh, ooh

Let's wait awhile
(Let's just take our time)
Before it's too late
(Let's wait awhile)
Your love's so good
(Our love will be great)
We shouldn't rush in
(Let's wait awhile)
Slow it down
(Before we go too far)
Ooh

La da lee de da da de de de, da da da da la da
La da lee de da da de de de, da da da da la da da
La da lee de da da de de de

I promise, I'll be worth the wait

I feel your pain!

My wife – Chris, had to go away for a week and I was left alone. During this period I had recently acquired new responsibilities. With my wife around, I took simple things for granted. However, as my wife, friend, soul-mate, companion and helper was not around, the workload seemed a lot more.

Now I had to think about food, maintaining the house, clothes that I needed to get ready, holding meetings, evangelising as well as starting my new responsibilities.

There was no one to come home with at the end of the day. There was no kiss to greet me when I arrived home. The house seemed empty; staring at the 4 walls didn’t seem much fun. Chris was not around to ask one another how our day went. No good morning or good night kiss. She would normally go to bed 5-10 minutes before me. By the time I would retire to bed, she had already warmed it up with her body heat. During that week there was no one there to do that, so I had to endure the cold sheets on my own. “Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night.” – Ecclesiastes 4:11 (The Message)

You may say to yourself “So what! I have gone through this every day for years.”  Well, this is the whole reason why I’m writing this!

To all the single people – I feel your pain!

I know it was only for one week. But I now understand what you have been going through for years. That week can never compare to the years of loneliness you have endured, but I now know what you go through.

I can understand why you want to be in church most days of the week. I can understand when you approach the pastor in tears – You are just venting out your frustration. I feel your pain! However, it does not give you the right to give up, nor make any rash decisions in your love life to find someone who will take away your loneliness, or warm your bed.

The only way you can get rid of this pain and take your mind off being single is to get to know the One whom you cannot see. There are people in the church who are single and happy. Notice I did not say they are content with being alone. The sad, empty feeling they once had has now been replaced by the Holy Spirit.

Now follow their example. And soon you will find your friend, soul-mate and helper.  "It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." Genesis 2:18 (The Message).  

Pastor Michael boodram
love@uckg.org